Did your parents ever tell you not to quit? Not to quit a tough sports team or a difficult job?
Mine did.
But as dads, there are some things we need to quit. At dinner the other night I asked Alli, my wife, and the kids, “What are some things that dads should quit?”
I’m not sure why they had so many answers but here’s the first 4.
Here’s some things we discussed:
1. Quit working late.
I’ve worked late. You probably have too.
But how often? Every day? Once a week?
There’s exceptions to most rules and this may be one of those. Perhaps there are times when you need to work late. Seasons of business. Maybe there’s a job installation you need to do out of town. Maybe you’re going to a conference for a few days. Maybe there’s a crunch to complete software for the launch date.
Let’s agree it’s okay to work late on occasion but it shouldn’t be the norm.
2. Quit softball.
I quit playing softball when we had our fourth child, Sterling. Up to that point we had tried to make my baseball night a family night. Often Alli and the kids would come to the games but with 4 kids it became increasingly more difficult. Quitting softball was a relatively small sacrifice to make to maintain the peace and well-being of our home.
Around the same time as this I also stopped playing hockey at night. Playing at night would take me away from home at one of the busiest times of the day – kids’ bed time. I started playing hockey at 6am Saturday mornings so I could be home when everyone woke up. I could still play hockey but now it didn’t steal away any family time.
3. Quit looking at your phone.
Is this a tough one for you? Um, ya. Me too.
I’ve gone through seasons of leaving my phone in the car after work or shutting it off and putting it in the cupboard. The most recent attempt was giving my kids permission to take my phone away if they saw me looking at it too much.
Still working on this one. Are you?
4. Quit being selfish.
Do you ever get impatient with your kids? I do. And it’s usually when I have a list of things to do and they’re preventing me from getting it done. My list. My time.
It’s actually ironic that it happens frequently when I’m doing a project WITH THEM. Saturday morning we were re-assembling a playhouse our kindly neighbours passed along. I passed the drill to 9-year-old Sterling to drive in some bolts. Almost immediately I wanted to grab it back from him because I could do it faster and better. I almost did.
I need to learn to quit being selfish so my kids can learn and grow.
Dads, is there anything you need to quit?